Monday, January 01, 2007

Phantom Message

Here is something weird. While we were away over the weekend, we received a voice mail on our home phone. The message is almost intelligible, and at first we thought it was from someone so drunk he could barely form words. If it had been received on New Year's Eve, I might not wonder about it so much, but it was recorded at 7:00 am on Sunday.

Either way, it was a call from someone we don't know from Utica, NY (I know this because I plugged the number into a reverse phone directory on line).

In this long, rambling message from someone who sounds more like he has cerebral palsy* than someone who has cerebral rum, some words are clear. They are:
He drinks a lot
Love you
Guess what, he's gonna barf
He's sick
All my fault

So, from this string of words interspersed with mumma mumma mumma, I am formulating a story. If the caller truly does have CP, then is it possible the person he is referring to, the one who is about to barf, is a kind of caretaker or at least a friend? Suppose this friend, possibly named Steve, loves the person who was meant to receive the message but because of his drunken puke stupor was unable to make the call himself? Or suppose he had no intention of ever revealing his love for the person, but because of his lessened inhibitions due to his drunken puke stupor, he revealed it to his friend with CP? And suppose the friend took it upon himself to deliver the message, but then misdialed? And what, exactly, is all his fault?

There are so many possibilities. I will eventually have to delete the message and let it go for a fluke, but in the meantime, my imagination soars.

*I have known a few people with cerebral palsy in my day, and the speech patterns and extraneous sounds in this voice mail are quite similar.


dive said...

Sounds like a fun holiday for someone …
Talking of good times, have you heard from Sassy? It's way past bedtime here and she still hasn't surfaced.
I hope she's alright and hasn't overdone it …

Robyn said...

I have not heard from Sassy. I suppose you might have slept through the day. I'll be concerned if she doesn't pop up tomorrow.

Sassy Sundry said...

You should hear the weird messages we get here at work from crazy people.

Very fun.

I didn't overdo it. The party just lasted for two days.

RICH said...

That was me who called. I'm truly ashamed :(