Saturday, July 11, 2009

One Down

So, No. 1 just moved out of the house for good. I mean just about 15 minutes ago. She and her father are driving to California, taking five days to get there, and then Eustacia and I will fly out next Friday to join them.

We'll help furnish her new apartment, get her kitchen in order and make sure she has what she needs to start her new academic life at Berkeley. In between those tasks, we'll spend a couple of days in Yosemite and a couple of days in Sonoma and maybe a day or two in San Francisco. I've been trying to convince No. 1 that we need to visit Alcatraz, but she isn't interested.

All of this will be exciting stuff, but at the moment all I can think of is how my little girl, my firstborn, will never live in this house again. I know grown kids sometimes move back home, but that's usually under duress, and we probably won't be living here if and when that happens. What if she needs to move in with us when we're old and living in some wicker and pastel bungalow in Florida (shoot me)?

Here are some things I can look forward to in this next phase of life:

• trips to California
• turning No. 1's bedroom into the spare room of my dreams
• purging closets and dresser drawers of old clothes she left behind

But for now, I think I'll just be sad.

14 comments:

dive said...

Don't be sad, Robyn; she'll be back in a couple of years when she drops out of college to live in your basement with her new kid, her crack-dealing boyfriend and his biker gang … er … I'm not helping here, am I?

You know she'll do brilliantly and have a marvellous time and you shall have a great time too, visiting her in sunny (er … foggy) Berkeley. You may even manage to persuade one of the girls to take you to Alcatraz.
And think what you can do with her room! Yay!

savannah said...

they never really leave home, sugarpie! xoxox

(still laughing at dive's comment!)

Shan said...

Well, my lower lip just went out in sympathy Robyn, because I just can't imagine. Let yourself be sad but I love your ever positive attitude and the way you can still list things to look forward to. You are so level headed. :)

debra said...

My #1 will be 21 on Tuesday. On Wednesday she's meeting friends in NYC to look for an apartment. She told me that this will be the last summer she lives here..... sigh.

Shazza said...

It's a weird transition isn't it Robyn? My #1 is living full time in Chicago and #2 although never formally moved out is transforming our basement into a small apartment for herself and her boyfriend.

Cheers! Here is to our children!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

It does feel like a piece of you just got removed doesn't it?

My No. 1 just got engaged today. Oy.

Lynn said...

Oh darling Robyn! I cried. I know how this feels. My eldest two are at uni but are based living with Dad anyway, it's only the youngest one who still lives with me. It hurts. Be sad; somehow I think it's important. I wouldn't turn her bedroom into the spare toooooooo soon if I were you, wait a while. Look also, as you are doing, to the positives i.e. those trips to California! Wow. That'll be such fun, as will your helping her to settle in. How come they're taking 5 days and you're flying out afterwards? Just a fun way round it all?
Alcatraz would indeed be interesting. I'd come with you! lol.
Even though my eldest two are not with me, they're still here and when they come to stay, they just slot right in like they never went away, you'll see, don't worry. As Savannah says, they never REALLY leave home. Lots of love, xxxxx

Lynn said...

Actually only one of my eldest is based at Dad's now, the other has his own house shared with friends, but is loving his independence, his new life - they grow, Robyn, they go, but they're always here with us. Always.

Scout said...

Dive, you have such a positive outlook on the future. hee hee

Savannah, I suppose you're right. xoxox

Shan, you're a few years away from this, right? I've already started clearing out the closet. Next up, the dresser drawers, and then maybe I'll change the curtains.

Debra, welcome. NYC is a fun place. You can live vicariously.

Shazza, I thought of you yesterday because you're sort of going through the opposite thing right now.

Cheri, hey! Congratulations. Or should we be saying "oy," too?

Lynn, you're right and so thoughtful. I think the only difference is distance—the US is so big that a kid can move all the way to California and still be in the same country. They drove because she needed to take her car out there. We didn't want to spend five days in a car, so we're flying.

MmeBenaut said...

Ah, Robyn, I can empathise although I've not had my own children move away. But my mother and brother live in Queensland which is 2 and a half hours' flight time away. I miss them and would love to be closer to my brother and young nephew but we only get to see them every few years. We have the same issues with living in a huge country.
But for now, I think that Lynn is right. Let yourself be sad for a while although I notice you're already busy clearing out things ready to turn that room into one of your own. It's a good thing to be busy when you're sad. I hope that you'll feel better once you've been to California and seen her apartment.

Alifan said...

Big hugs sent your way Robyn, you know they never really leave you......but us mothers are meant to worry about our offspring... as mine get older I just want them to be happy ... I still worry and think they worry about me....

But you have given her a good grounding in life which will be with her always....

Dick said...

You forgot three things that the future holds for you, Robyn.

1. Wedding.
2. Daughter's husband (your new son).
3. Grandchildren.

As sure as "The Graduate" was filmed at Berkely, they will happen sooner rather than later.

Rich said...

Wow isn't it scary how quickly time gets behind us? The younger crowd isn't interested in Alcatraz, robyn. I still would like to see the island myself.

Good luck to no.1 and to you.

MmeBenaut said...

PS: I went on that trip to Alcatraz way back in 1982 with my first husband. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Perhaps if you show the kids the movie "Escape from Alcatraz" they might have some appreciation of the place.