Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Like a Dog On Its Hind Legs, Wearing Mittens

I'm a cook. I plan meals, and I prepare them from scratch, mostly, and I enjoy it as long as I get a break now and then. I use both ovens and all four burners and generally have a good time in the kitchen. But at the moment, I feel as though I'm all thumbs. Or maybe I have no thumbs at all. And I'm wearing mittens. Picture a standard poodle, or maybe a Labrador, standing on its hind legs in front of a stove wearing mittens, an apron and a blind fold.

The problem is, my stove/oven is broken, and a repairman won't be here until tomorrow afternoon to fix it. It happened on Saturday evening when I came home from orchestra rehearsal. I knew I would only have a couple of hours between the rehearsal and concert to provide dinner and get dressed, so I had made a casserole using up leftover turkey ahead of time. I turned on the top oven, and within a minute or so, sparks were flying. A small flame was working its way around the heating element and spitting like a sparkler on the fourth of July. We had to turn off the breaker to the oven to get it to stop, and my kitchen has been dark, so to speak, ever since.

To complicate things further, Husband had dental surgery yesterday and was limited to clear liquids for several hours until the anesthesia wore off, and for several days after, he's limited to soft things not requiring chewing. He can eat pastas and hearty soups and eggs, but that's about it. All day yesterday, I was forced to warm broth and thin soup in the microwave, and it felt like cooking with my hands tied behind my back. Like I said, like I'm wearing mittens.

Last night, I heated a Lean Cuisine for myself, and it was like eating a shoe. A shoe made of cardboard. Have you noticed that all of those frozen "meals" smell the same when they're heated no matter what they're made of? It doesn't matter if you're heating beef or chicken or carrots, it all comes out smelling like something not too similar to food. I had rice with something like an egg roll, and it was a meal I'll never have again, if I can help it. Fortunately, there was one serving of the turkey casserole left (we've been warming it in the microwave a spoonful at a time), so I was spared from eating dry bread and old lettuce.

Today, I'll have to go through the grocery store looking for soft, microwavable food to serve, that or things that can be cooked on an electric griddle. Pancakes. We'll be eating pancakes until the oven is fixed. In the meantime, I'm all thumbs. I have no thumbs at all. I'm a fish out of water. A man without his tools. A dog on its hind legs wearing mittens, an apron and a blindfold.


dive said...

Eww! I hope that repair man makes it through the snow and sorts out your cooker, Robyn.
I've got a freezer full of home made soups if you want them. I don't think I can get them there before the repair man comes, though; the Atlantic is too wide (and too cold right now).

savannah said...

crock pot? bbq grill? (hey, from personal experience, it works even when it's cold outside)

Madame DeFarge said...

Hope you get it sorted soon. I'd be reduced to making endless quantities of porridge.